Support is being robbed by Comparison!

Support is being robbed by Comparison

Emotional support is a key factor in building strength in a relationship.  It is human nature for people to rely on the close people in their lives to provide positive expressions when good things happen and look for emotional support during trying times.  We must evaluate how we respond to our loved one’s time of need and their time of triumph. Studies have shown that there is a difference in how support is delivered during good times vs bad ones. 

When one is supported during times of positivity it shapes their perception of how they are supported during rough times.   When individuals in our lives are consistently supportive during wins, it builds and supports the belief of availability during their lows.  It increases trust and allows for an open and honest relationship.

It appears that there is a huge area of reflection when support is freely expressed during pain because that is easy, we know what is needed and sometimes expected. However during wins, at times there is apprehension, silence, and less support.  When this happens, it does not mean you do not love, care, or even support your loved ones.  It just means we have work to do.  This is the culture of comparison. Social media drives this concept. 

Support vs. Comparison

Social media has shifted our thought process to view others’ wins as our losses.  When this happens, it takes away from being genuine because the shift moves from gestures of support to focus on you.  When people do not place as much energy on their loved one’s wins as they do their pain, it does not support a healthy relationship.  It erodes it and begins to develop a perception of questioning of the ties.

We all face challenges related to insecurities and inadequacies at times, it is up to us to face those challenges and not allow them to affect our relationships.  What we must realize is that everyone is on a different journey and will begin and end different phases in their lives and there is no reason to compare.

So, the next time you find yourself not supporting that loved one on their wins, stop and ask yourself: “am I not fully there because my mind wants to compare?”   We must be the solution in being aware, improving our emotional health, and being up for the challenge of shifting our culture into healthy habit.